Dreading

I am dreading going to visit my mom this weekend. This may be the end. I want to spend as much time with her as possible, what I used to hope would be quality time is now just time sitting with her, hoping she will eat or drink, making sure she is not in too much pain.

I remind myself that we only have this moment. It is a moment when I can be with her. I am not sure if she will know that it is me that is with her, if she will even be aware that anyone is there.

But somehow I think that she will know that she is loved.

I would like to put this trip off for another day or two, or more, but I know I can't.

Ready

I have a counseling client who is around 65 years old, and has a companion who is older. She is active, still working, while he is experiencing health problems and is not longer active. They are planning to be married soon.

As she described their interactions, and how she watches over him, even trying to spare him any stress that might have a negative effect on his health, I thought about her selflessness. This is a man who has been there for her for many years, the have a history together. She knows that he will most likely need more and more of her time in the near future. In her words, she is 'ready' for whatever the future holds. She loves him, enjoys every moment with him, and wants to make sure that she will be able to care for him and, as needed, make decisions for him, in the future.

And I couldn't help but think about my own situation, helping to care for my mother. I had to ask myself, in spite of the challenges, would you make any other choice but to be there for her?