Holiday Memories

The holidays are a time for togetherness, to share the pleasures of family. They are also a bittersweet time because, in the midst of that togetherness, we are also faced with change. Unfortunately, change includes the inevitable changes that accompany a chronic illness, or the decline and losses of old age. That's just part of life.

The decline that ill or older family members are experiencing can be especially obvious during holiday events. Maybe the aren't moving so well, or aren't as focused, or are showing other impairments. If you haven't seen them for a long period of time, this can be especially disconcerting. It is only human nature to be tempted to dwell on what used to be, and to be filled with sadness and regret. No one wants to be reminded that old age is often accompanied by decline, and that the circle will not be unbroken.

But the holidays are also a time to remember! Past holidays, memories of good deeds and kind words, shared joys and shared sadness. The little and the big things that make up relationships.

Holiday events are a great time to reminisce about the past. And older people often have vivid memories of these shared events, even if they aren't always so good about remembering what they might have done the day before. This is how the human brain works.

Over the holidays, sit down with your family member and share the memories. Conversations starters might include:

"Remember the time…"

"What was it like when…"

"Tell me a story about…"

Or even…

"Thank you so much for the time…"

Who knows, you might learn something new. And chances are, your older loved one will fill you in a few details that have slipped your mind.

And if they have forgotten, then it's your turn to tell a story. Fill them in on a time that you shared together. Remind them of what they have meant to you.

Holidays are for sharing the present, the past, and building bridges into the future.

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