Getting the Conversation Started

One of the issues that we often talk about is support. Some tell me that their family members are constantly attempting to do things for them, to the point that they are made to feel that they can't do anything for themselves. Others tell me that their families aren't helpful at all.

What I learned is that communication is the common thread that runs through all of these conversations. When one family member is facing mobility issues, others in the household often feel helpless. They are worried about the indiviudal whose mobility is imparied, and so they try to jump in and do everything. In a way, they are trying to make themselves feel better by doing taking control, or at least trying. On the other hand, feelings of helplessness can cause family members to essentially 'run away' out of fear that they might do the wrong thing. They make themxelves feel better by avoiding what they think could be an uncomfortable situation.

The best cure for feelings of helplessness is communication. Have you ever sat down with your loved ones and talked about how you feel, physically and emotionally, and letting them know how they can help? Have you ever asked them about what's going with them in regard to your situation? This might lead to a discussion of how they can help, and what you don't need them to help you with. And it might mean a whole lot less tiptoeing around at your house.

Some of the most rewarding experiences I have had include sitting down with patients and family members and helping them to talk about how they can work better together. If you are having trouble initiating this conversation, you might call upon a healthcare or mental health professional to act as mediator.