Dancing around that feeling of rawness... or trying to

When you are involved in being a caregiver, it brings up a lot of feelings. Some of these feelings are exhilerating as you experience the joy of giving unconditionally and experiencing the results of love in action. Other feelings are, to say the least challenging, the sadness of watching a loved one struggling, along with some of the frustrations that go along with making sacrifices.

I think it is safe to say that caregiving can leave you with a lot of raw feelings, regardless of attempts to push feelings away and forge on with the daily responsibilities of caring for someone else while trying to keep your own life afloat. On some days, you can keep those raw feelings successfully in the background, maybe by staying busy, or telling yourself you aren't going to let yourself get upset by anything. "I can handle this!" But then the moment sneaks up on you. An image of your loved one, what is, or what used to be, gets in the way. You hear a song or see someone in an activity that you used to enjoy together. You walk by a favorite restaurant. Suddenly, those darned feelings -- sadness, loss, fear -- get in the way. Your life and the life of your loved one, won't be the same, at least not for awhile.

Don't fight your feelings. Take some time and sit with those raw feelings. Let them happen. The irony is that we only give our feelings the power to control us when we try to keep them in a cage.