Just doing

If I were going to write a theme for this day, the first day of Memorial Day weekend, I would say it is a get through it day.

Mom is going to be sitting in her apartment all day suffering with the pressure sore on her butt that never seems to stop being sore. All of the trips to the bathroom (AKA the 'commode' sitting two feet away from her), followed by all the wiping and washing, followed by more chafing, don't help.

I am so used to hearing her complaints and tears that on some days, like today, this all becomes 'information.' I am temporarily drained of the ability to have an emotional response. The human side of me wants to come up with a reason for this pressure sore problem. Who is at fault? Did she sit too much back when she was able to stand and even walk? Did somebody -- maybe even me -- not push her hard enough? Was it not treated aggressively enough when it first developed.

Or maybe this is the next step in the journey. Today, I'm too drained to do anything more than do my duty and monitor her, and listen, and just keep doing.