I feel like I do a lot of watching these days. Today I am watching my mom. Watching her do what, I'm not sure. I have been by her bedside for four days at this point. She doesn't talk much at this point, mostly cries out of frustration, grief, discomfort. I don't think she will be here much longer and if she has to live like this, why would I want her to stick around?
What am I focusing on is being thankful that I can at least be here these few days, sit with her, beg her to eat and drink, hold her hand. We only have this moment, maybe few ahead of us, I don't know.
She is on a new pain medication. She dozes a lot, sometimes snores like a fieldhand, then wakes up. She look surprised to see me, maybe wondering why I am hanging around, wondering how she and I got into this situation.
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